1. BEING A RUNNER IS SORT OF LIKE BEING PREGNANT. YOU GET TO EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT BUT INSTEAD OF BEING STUCK WITH A HUMAN, YOU GET MUSCLES AND AN INFLATED EGO.

2. STEP 1, TAKE YOUR BODY TO THE BEACH. BOOM. BEACH BODY.

3. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO RUN ALONE.

4. WHAT IT'S LIKE TO RUN A MARATHON.

5. YOU KNOW YOU'RE A RUNNER WHEN YOU BLAME EVERYTHING ON YOUR SHOES.

6. (INSERT EYE ROLL HERE!)

7. CAN I EAT PIZZA ON THIS JUICE CLEANSE? THEN NO.

8. THERE ARE 💩 RUNS AND THERE ARE ACTUALLY 💩 RUNS.

9. REVENGE IS BEST SERVED ON A POSTER THAT GOES VIRAL.

10. HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A RUNNER WHO FORGETS TO PRESS RESUME.

11. YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST DON'T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE.

12. BASICALLY WHAT THE LAST 10K OF A MARATHON FEELS LIKE.

13. RUN LIKE MILLENNIALS RUN FROM COMMITMENT.

14. LET'S GO STRIPPING...AFTER WE GET THOSE FREE MARATHON FOTO COUPONS.

15. BUT SERIOUSLY...

16. DON'T TAKE YOUR SOCKS OFF!

17. A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.

18. RUNNING + MATH = FAIL.

19. YES, I AM SEEING SOMEONE. AND BY SOMEONE I MEAN I'M TRAINING FOR A HALF MARATHON THANK YOU.

20. IMPORTANT INFORMATION.

21. WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR MIND AT MILE 24 OF A MARATHON.

22. DON'T BE THIS PERSON.

23. #WINK.

24. WHAT I THINK ABOUT WHEN SOMEONE YELLS, "YOU'RE ALMOST THERE!"

25. BOYFRIEND GOALS.

26. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE KNOW YOU RUN.

27. FOAM ROLLERS ARE FUNNY!

28. DREAMING OF SLEEPING IN.

29. DIET LOLOLOLOL! WHAT'S THAT?

30. RAIN? RAIN? NOOOOOOOOOO!

31. TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN.

32. 💩

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