I FEEL SEEN! AND VALIDATED!

I just want to send a HUGE told you so (and fuckkkkkkkkk you) to all of those annoying AF runners who trolled me over the last 6 years, telling me that if I didn’t love running I should quit and stop talking about having a love-hate relationship with it.

Strava, the social fitness network for athletes, surveyed over 25,000 from over 9 countries about why they run and their findings were totally and completely unsurprising to anyone in the running community.

STRAVA FOUND THAT OF THE OVER 25,000 RUNNERS THEY SURVEYED, HALF OF THEM SAY THEY EITHER HATE IT OR BARELY TOLERATE IT, WHILE ONLY 8% LOVE IT.

Yeah. We know.

Want to know why I started my first blog Run, Selfie, Repeat? Because I couldn’t drink the “I LOVE RUNING! RUNNING IS THE BEST! I RUN FAST! MY LIFE’S GOAL IS TO RUN FASTER! I RUN MARATHONS IN MY SLEEP OR I RUN THEM IN 3 HOURS OR LESS! I AM A SERIOUS ATHLETE! LET’S TALK ABOUT RUNNING 24/7 BLA BLA BLA” Koolaid every blog and running website was serving up.

I was slow.

30 minutes of continuous running still felt impossible despite the fact that I had run a marathon.

Running never seemed to get easier and no one was talking about it.

I felt like I was always struggling and couldn’t figure out why.

Then, I realized I wasn’t the problem. Running wasn’t just harder for me. Everyday runners like me, people who weren’t athletic but found meaning, direction, purpose, and community by running weren’t talking about their struggles.

Your weight will go up. Your weight will go down. What matters is not the number on the scale, but what you say to yourself about your weight and shape.

THIS IS WHAT STRENGTH LOOKS LIKE ISN’T JUST A SAYING I THROW AROUND. IT’S A BELIEF SYSTEM I ENCOURAGE YOU TO ADOPT. LOOK IN THE MIRROR. SAY IT OFTEN.

If you’re a runner, you’re strong.

I GET IT, SINCE THE BEGINNING OF RUNNING, RUNNING HAS BEEN SOLD AS A WAY TO BE SKINNIER SO THAT YOU CAN LOOK BETTER.

NOT LOSE WEIGHT. BE SMALLER.

BULLSHIT YOU SAY? JUST LOOK AT THIS BOOK THAT BART YASSO TWEETED THE OTHER DAY. REDUCE YOUR WAISTLINE. IMPROVE YOUR APPEARANCE. PRINTED IN 1967.

I too started running because I thought it would give me a runner’s body and help me lose the weight I was convinced I needed to lose in order to be beautiful. Because the world has told us all our lives that you cannot be larger or fat and healthy. WHICH. IS. BULL. SHIT.

I started running because my life literally fell apart. AND I WAS DROWNING.

Grief.

Anxiety.

Depression.

A painfully unhealthy relationship with my weight and body image.

Unsure of what to do with my life after graduating from college with a theater degree. (A THEATER DEGREE! Want to talk to people who have to deal with literally 0 direction and 0 job security for the rest of their lives, talk to the artists.)

I was working out like a crazy person to avoid having to deal with my life. But I was losing motivation to go to the gym twice a day, and because I was so afraid of gaining weight if I stopped working out in every spare moment I had, I started running.

Like so many other runners, I started physically running away from my life because I felt out of control.

And running hurt so much that I didn’t have the mind space to think about all the parts of my life that were killing me.

And it gave me something I could say I was doing with my life when everyone and anyone asked me what I was doing with my life now that I graduated from college.

“I’m running a marathon.” I’d say through a pained smile. Bracing for the next statement that always followed this exchange: “YOU’RE running a marathon? But marathoners are skinny! You are not?! What?????”

But I ran a marathon and it literally changed my life.

It gave me the courage to move to New York because if I ran a marathon, I could do literally anything.

But despite the fact that I was now a marathoner, I still didn’t feel like I didn’t belonged. I ran alone. I ran for my sanity and to maintain some semblance of control over my weight.

I didn’t see myself and my shape represented in any of the ads or campaigns unless I was a before picture. I never saw anyone without a stereotypical runner’s body represented as a strong AF runner.

And I never saw anyone’s average finish line time celebrated as a huge accomplishment in the industry.

I still don’t.

Then, I was peer pressured into going to November Project. A community of the best kind of weirdos who were doing recess every Wednesday and Friday morning.

And I finally found a group where I felt I belonged. I discovered how much fun suffering could be when you’re doing it with a really inclusive and fun group of people. People who looked you dead in the face and said, “I’m glad you’re here.” And meant it. People who didn’t really care how fast you ran or what you were training for. They were just glad to have people to be silly with while they worked out.

There are still so, so many runners who run alone because they’ve tried traditional running groups and were dropped or ran alone.

That’s why I started the Badass Lady Gang. To bring women together in safe, fun, and inclusive spaces. Because running alone as a woman is TERRIFYING regardless of what time of day it is.

If there’s a Badass Lady Gang or November Project in your city, GO JOIN THEM. It will change your life.

I still have a love-hate relationship with running.

It’s ok if you have a love-hate relationship to running too.

Or feel like you struggle so much more than everyone else.

Or feel like you’re only getting worse.

Or feel like running isn’t getting any easier.

The running world loves to focus on how fast people run.

Or before and after stories.

Which is fine. Just ignore it.

It’s ok to give 0 fucks about getting faster or running further.

It’s ok to walk more than you run. I don’t believe in walk running. I think there’s just running. How you run is relative. I walk all the time. I’m a big fan. It’s still just running.

But please, PLEASE stop running to try to lose weight.

Please.

The best part about running is that it helps you see what you’re capable of. How strong you already are. Which then helps you see that your body is a thing to celebrate and treat with love and respect. Not something to obsess over and criticize.

When you care about your body and what it can do, everything falls into place.

You do not need to be fast or skinny to be a real runner.

Runners come in all different shapes and sizes.

Health is not a look. It’s a lifestyle.

Strength looks different on everyone.

But stop running alone.

You aren’t alone. You belong.

Join the Badass Lady Gang.

Or go show up to November Project.

OR BOTH! DO BOTH!

But remember, you’re the majority. Even if the running world doesn’t acknowledge it.

I sat in on a giant global summit held by the biggest brand in the world two years ago where I spoke about community and specifically, my community (the one they profit the most from), and saw the numbers that everyday women who run for fun or were just getting started spend on running clothes and apparel. It’s trillions of dollars. YOU spend the majority of the money and they know that your money is everything.

They just don’t know how to tell your story very well. They don’t know how to show larger athletes who aren’t obsessed with weight loss. They don’t know how to let them just be their strong badass selves.

Most brands still don’t even make clothes for larger athletes despite the fact that it’s a 2 billion dollar industry.

Use your voice. Call them out.

You are the majority. THEY KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY THE EVERYDAY FEMALE RUNNERS GIVES THEM. Be heard.

Running is fun. It’s also very, very hard.

It’s not about running faster. Or winning. It’s just about doing something superhuman together.

A 20-minute miler, in my opinion, is just as impressive as a 5-minute miler.

A 4 hour half marathoner is just as impressive as someone who does it in 1.

I love runners because they’re almost always survivors. People who found running because their lives fell apart and running seemed like a good idea at the time.

Runners are people who discovered their strength and athleticism and now move because they want to. Not because they feel like they have to.

Which is incredible.

Find your people. It makes running so much more fun.

Not sure how? Join the Badass Lady Gang. We will point you in the right direction.

We believe in the greater community. Not competition.

It’s a love-hate thing my relationship to running.

But I can’t imagine my life without it.

Or all of you.

Kickass. Take names.